How to Protect Yourself from Negative,Bad-mind, Jealous and otherwise Ill Intentioned People

Reaffirm Your Greatness

Negative energy can only truly effect you if your foundation of self-love is weak. When you find yourself being affected by the negativity of others, reevaluate. This is the perfect time to acknowledge some positive things about yourself.  Make a list of your accomplishments or good character traits. If you have a hard time coming up with things, you may need to set some goals for yourself or work on some ways you can improve your personality.

Tell them the truth

Ideally we all want to be able to ignore negative people or erase them from our lives. The fact of the matter we may not be able to do so. They may be co-workers or even family members. And lets face it some people are PERSISTENT. Every time you see them, even it’s only for a few seconds they find a way to try to disrupt your joy.

Radical honesty can really get under someones skin. If you verbally acknowledge that what they are saying or doing is hurting you, they may take it into consideration. Speak up and let them know exactly what they are doing. You might say something like “What you just said really wasn’t nice, were you intentionally trying to hurt my feelings?” –Some people may laugh, scoff say that they were joking or may even say something even more hurtful. Be prepared for that and don’t let it bother you. Keep a serious tone. Most people with a conscience will later think about what they did or said– especially if you tell them consistently.

Remember the Problem is Likely with Them and Not You

People who are unhappy hate to see others enjoying themselves.

People who are unsuccessful never congratulate the success of others.

We’ve all heard the phrase “misery loves company” & it’s true!

People who judge you or have negative things to say about you usually are deficient in some area of their life where you excel. Some times the person is not at all conscious of their feelings – usually they are not – this is why it manifests in their comments, actions or aura.

Remind yourself of these things when you come across these people.

Ignore them & Resist the Urge to Defend Yourself

Every interaction with another being is an energy exchange. When others attack you with their unkindness, they are hoping to steal a little or a lot of your energy. Don’t let them do this.

When possible, ignore them completely. Nothing gets an ill intentioned person more frustrated than being ignored.

NEVER EVER defend yourself, and here’s why:

If you are confident in your abilities at a given thing, there is no need to prove that to ANYONE.

It is a complete waste of energy. The person attacking you knows that you are doing well, it is this fact that encourages them to pick at you in the first place. When you try to defend yourself, not only are you wasting your time an energy on someone who is already beneath you, you are actually doing them a favor. You are taking energy that could be spent bettering yourself and sharing that energy with them. They will ignore the logic of your defense anyway. Their mind was made up even before they approached you. Now all you’ve done is gotten yourself worked up and probably exerted some negative energy yourself trying to hurt them in return.

What to do with your Tax Return

The W2′s have been printed! Most returns are on their way if not received already. Rather than blow your refund on a shopping spree or trip to D.R. here are some ideas that will benefit you throughout the year.

Open a Savings Account or Other Long Term investment

Your local credit union more than likely offers a better interest rate than a popular bank such as TD. Open a savings account and put in a percentage of your return. Then LEAVE IT until the following year (at least). Depending on how much you put in, you may be surprised at the amount of interest earned. This money can also be used as a rainy day fund.

Pay off a bill for the year

A great way to build credit is to set up an automatic payment for one of your bills. Call the companies that you pay each month and inquire about whether they offer bank accounts. Often there’s a benefit to setting up an auto-pay account with the company you owe.

For example, my auto loan is automatically pulled from an account with the same company that financed my car. Each year I put the amount needed to pay the bill for the next 12 months. In return the company gives me a lower interest rate for my car payment. They also report to the credit bureau that I pay my bill on time each month- which increases my credit score.

Online accounts are a little harder to access (which can be a great thing!) but they often come with great perks such as ATM reimbursements.

Pay off Debt

I personally hate to owe money. Usually the more money you owe, the more you are charged. Before spending a lump sum of money on clothes or shoes, pay back money owed – It will save you money in the future.

For example if you carry $1100.00 on a credit card that charges you 25.40% interest each. Your amount due may only be $25.00 a month but you are also adding $23.00 to your debt each month. By the end of the year you have given your credit card company $276.00 of your hard earned money.

Why I Choose Not to Cover

For Baby’s Comfort

The fact of the matter is, not many people enjoy eating in the dark or with a piece of cloth over half their body.  I would not subject my infant to eating a way that is not normal for older children or adults.

& Let’s face it, anyone who has breastfed for longer than four or five months knows that once a baby has the physical ability to do so (usually around six months) they will throw the cover right off!

I also strongly believe that my baby’s comfort trumps any one else’s  discomfort or judgements about seeing my breasts preform the function they were biologically made to do.

For MY comfort

I have been subjected to stares and even to people approaching me about breast feeding without covering in the past. Despite that, I prefer the nursing process to be as easy and as seamless as possible.

Taking out and arranging a blanket or nursing cover adds another step to the nursing process. In my opinion, it does the opposite of conceal the nursing session and rather it calls attention to the baby’s feeding time. Who wants to spend time looking for a cover?

I imagine if you usually use one and have this time forgotten it, you might feel completely uncomfortable having to feed your child. I have always felt peace in knowing that I am the only thing my baby needs for the first year of life. If I leave the house with nothing but myself and a diaper, my baby will be fed and happy

For Black Women

In almost every area of health, Black & African American persons are doing the worst of all other ethnicities. When it comes to infant mortality, according to the CDC (Center For Disease Control), Black Women have roughly double the incidence.

Exclusive breastfeeding reduces infant mortality due to common childhood illnesses such as diarrhea or pneumonia, and helps for a quicker recovery during illness.  In other words, one of the easiest ways to reduce the number of our babies dying, is to breast feed.

You might ask what does this have to do with me covering. Well, a major reason women often don’t even consider breastfeeding as an option is because they don’t see other women doing it! My choice to breastfeed unabashedly gives other women the opportunity to see that YES Black women do make this choice for their children and YES it is NORMAL.

For Women Everywhere

Although the first formula was created during the mid 1800s , after World War II, there was an increase in formula use as television became more common place and began to influence public opinion. During the seventies as more women entered the work force, there was an even greater increase in formula use as it becomes more difficult to breastfeed their infants.

Breastfeeding began to be associated with poverty. Women developed shame about choosing this feeding method. All the while formula companies (as they continue to do today) began to convince women that their formula was equivalent to if not superior to their milk.

I believe it’s time to take back our bodies and the power that comes along with it. YOUR milk is the best formula for YOUR baby. I refer to it as formula here because what our bodies do is create a milk that is specific to our babies and their needs. No two women’s breast milk is the same. As our babies grow the milk we make changes to suit the needs of baby. In times of sickness our milk also changes to create antibodies that most times prevent baby from developing the sickness. This is MIRACLE BIOLOGY and ALL women have this gift. It’s time we recognize it!